Some People...

So, yesterday I went to visit my friend at her work. Later in the afternoon some guy came in who looked Indian, not Native American Indian but from India Indian. The man spent a good 15 minutes going on and on about how people say that white women are so beautiful but they're not. He's saying this to two very white women. To say that it was a bit offensive is an understatement. We kind of blew it off and he moved on to talking about how skanky the girls in Utah are, he was a real charmer this one. After I had heard about as much as I could tolerate I decided it was time to leave. I said good bye to Scheli and was about to head out the door when the jerk asked me out! I chewed him a new one and left.

When I got home I posted a facebook status about it and one of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time posted, "If it's not white it's not right." I found that comment to be offensive and knew that I wasn't the only one who would considering that I have friends on my facebook who are not white, so I deleted it. The next day I logged in to find that the same person reposted the same comment! This time I sent them a message explaining how that was inappropriate and then I deleted them from my facebook.

I really wish that people weren't so hateful over stupid little things. If you're going to hate a certain group target one that actually deserves it like child molesters or woman beaters. But the truth of the matter is we could all use a little less hate in our lives and a lot more love and understanding.

Knock That OFF!

The other day I went to Ruby River, love Ruby River. Anyway, I went to the bathroom and some dumb lady is on her cell phone in the public restroom! WTF!!! That is rude and disgusting! I wanted to hit her. Worst part was the first thing she said after she said hi and heard the response is, "You need to show me more respect." What a joke! I wanted to walk up to her, turn off her phone, and tell her what an idiot she was. Sadly she left the bathroom before I did. People, it is AWFUL cell phone etiquette to be on your phone in a public restroom, or any restroom for that matter. DON'T DO IT!

The Way It's Got To Be.

So... this weekend was a real eye-opener. I've decided that I've had ENOUGH of the same guys I've allowed to jerk me around since high school. For real, I really haven't moved on from the same dating pool I've been in since high school but that's about to change. I want a guy with some real hopes, dreams, and ambitions. I look around my dating pool and there's not a whole lot of options there. Of course, if you want something in your partner you have to become it first so that is the first item on my agenda. Second item: stop being such a damn door mat! I WILL NOT be treated like a play thing for a man's personal enjoyment anymore! I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!

So, if you are one of the guys in my world right now I have some new rules for you:
1. Time with you will be limited. I will not hang out for a second longer than I want to. I don't care if you give me a guilt trip, when I'm ready to go home I'm going home.
2. There will be NO MORE PHYSICAL CONTACT! Until you can get to the point where you know me and respect me as an intelligent human being YOU DO NOT DESERVE ANY OF MY HUGS, KISSES, ETC!
3. If you call or text me and I don't respond, deal with it. 99% of you have been treating me this way so it's about time I gave you some of your own medicine.
4. I OWE YOU NOTHING! I have gone around thinking that if you've bought me dinner or taken me out to a movie then I owe you some of my time and attention even when you treat me like dirt. It's done.

This is the start of something wonderful for me, I can feel it. I've come to the point where I know eventually I can find a guy that goes from:
a. being genuinely interested in me to...
b. having a great deal of respect for me to...
c. really liking me to...
d. loving me without fear.
No more of this skittishness when it comes to commitment. I am a woman worth loving and keeping, I know that now and it's time I find a guy who can comprehend that too.

Watchmen

So... I was really, really excited for this movie and now I can't figure out why. It was terrible. One of the most boring movies I've ever seen. They had this sex scene and it was shot really well and then it had the most retarded song playing during it that didn't fit at all. I was totally disappointed. Don't waste your time, it's not worth a second of it.

My Heart Has A Wish...

Lately I can't help but think how much I wish I had a different family. This may sound cruel but it's the truth and I can't hide from it anymore. I want a happy, functional family and though people will try to have you believe that those are rare I don't believe it. If this life is what we make it then it is my goal to create a happy, functional family for myself.

I want my children to feel like their home is their sanctuary instead of being afraid of their parents temper. I want my children to feel that their parents love them and support them and are not waiting for them to fail so they can say "I told you so." I will never treat my children like they are stupid, or tell them that they are stupid, or tell them that something is beyond their reach. I will always encourage my children's' hopes and dreams. I will teach them the importance of morality and will expect them to make the right choices. After all: "Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I will make sure that I conduct myself in a manner that they will be able to respect and look up to. I will never make them feel like they have to be the parent for me.

I will give them the appropriate guild lines and discipline. This society we live in is an absolute joke when it comes to raising children. We put the children in front of the TV and expect it to raise them and that they will turn out ok? Are you kidding me? We are afraid to discipline our children because now our children have the power and can claim they have been abused without any proof and it will work, and they know it. I hope and pray everyday that my children will have the understanding that I have strict rules and enforce those rules with proper consequences not because I'm "mean" but because I love them and want what is best for them. I walk through the grocery stores and see what kids are getting away with these days and it makes me crazy! I'm writing this for 2 reasons: 1. to remind myself of my goals and 2. so that people will read this and maybe get a clue!

I am so impressed with some of my friends that already have children for the way they are raising their children. I see proper discipline and loads of love which is what every child needs. I think that if we can remember that children are special spirits that the Lord has entrusted to our care that would make a world of difference. Just something to ponder.

Genuine

The word for the week is: genuine

Genuine: Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character.

I chose this word because I'm finding that a lot of the people that I thought were good honest people are filthy liars. How can you go about living with so many skeletons in your closet? I'm just really loosing faith in people. I'm so frustrated that I can't even find the words. Here's the deal: a true adult is up-front about who they are, where they're from, and where they're going. True adults don't run off to get married, start families, etc... without telling their family. It's amazing to me how many people are in there 50's and still aren't "true adults!" Grow Up!

Computer Stress

So between my DGM class, the computer system at work screwing up on a daily basis, and trying to figure out how to set up a web page, online marketing, and profiles for my dad.... I really need a break from computers. This is getting to be too much!

What to do?

So I'm in a tough spot... no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And the logical thing to do seems to be to move into an apartment with roommates. The problem is I'm pretty sure I was born with a warning sign that clearly stated: DOES NOT PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS! So, what's a lone wolf to do? You see, the only way I can live with someone is if I love them enough to tolerate them. (This probably comes from the fact that most of the people I've loved and lived with have also been a giant pain in the neck!) I don't love people easily enough for this to happen often. So, what to do?

Get Real People!

Last week my mother bought a Wii Fit and I was really excited to try it. Then I heard people say that it tells almost everyone that they're obese and that it heckles you and makes you feel bad about yourself so I was really nervous about it. However, I did what I usually do and tried it out to see for myself. All I have to say is...."HOLY CRAP PEOPLE, GET REAL!" It doesn't heckle you it tells you where you need improvement. I'm no skinny mini and it told me that I was only a bit overweight, which is the truth. So my guess is, if it told you that you're obese that's because you are and if you can't handle that you shouldn't have bought the thing looking to get help in the first place. I believe that your health can be handled like an addiction. The first step in recovering from an addiction is admitting you have a problem. If you can't be real about the problems your having with your weight than you're never going to improve. If you're ready to get real about your body and really work on it, I actually suggest the Wii Fit. So far I LOVE it even though there are certain things that I suck at. Get real about making a change, I think this could really help people along, it's like having your own personal trainer in your living room. Yeah, it may call me a "couch potato" but it's true and I'm ready to change that. If you're not progressing, you're digressing. There is no such thing is stagnancy in our lives!

LEAVE MY PAGE ALONE!

So I noticed that someone posted a link onto one of my blogs for a single's dating website. I'm trying to stop swearing but... that is total and complete bull shit! It's MY blog, I made it, leave MY blog alone. Whoever did it needs to get rid of it because I don't know how. If someone out there does please let me know. All I'm asking for is a little respect. I made this blog and NO ONE ELSE should be adding or taking away from it. I just can't believe how rude some people are these days.

The View--Total Waste of Time!

So yesterday, for some odd reason that I still just don't understand, I watched The View. They had a guest speaker who had done a documentary about how the media mistreated Sarah Palin and her family. Interesting topic that I would have liked to have heard some different perspectives on... unfortunately I was watching The View so I didn't get to hear any of those perspectives. What was supposed to be a debate on a interesting political issue turned into a screaming match. Should have seen that coming.

Now, my understanding of The View is that it's supposed to be a show with a variety of intelligent woman with different view points discussing different issues. It's a good idea but the fact of the matter is, it's just not working. It would work if any of these women had an ounce of manners but they don't. Instead all they do is interrupt each other and yell at each other. Hello? What happened to manners? Growing up I heard all the time, "Brittany, don't interrupt when other people are talking." Didn't these ladies hear the same thing growing up? I can't believe people worry about my generation. If you ask me the older generation is a lot worse off from what I'm seeing on the television.

But really, the problem's root is in the public. If they were courteous and respectful the sad thing is, their ratings would drop. The American public doesn't want intelligent debate, they want bickering. They feel it's more entertaining and that's just the way it is. People, instead of getting kicks out of watching other people behaving badly why don't we seriously address these issues. Maybe if we did we would actually be making this nation better which is what it badly needs. Entertainment is despicable. If we want to make the world better boycott popular media. That would at least be a step in the right direction.

The Passing Of My Last Great Grandparent

My Great Grandpa Turner finally passed on December 19 2008. I'm not trying to be rude when I say "finally" but he was suffering and I'm so grateful that he doesn't have to suffer anymore. His funeral was today and it was good to honor him but I ended up very upset. My Great Grandpa was a honorable man that served his country in the Navy during World War 2 but he had no 21 gun salute. I was furious! They just didn't come. My Grandfather deserves that respect and it was respect he didn't get. I am proud of my Grandfather's service and I will always remember the sacrafice he made for my freedom.

Please Stop That...

So, I had to address this here because it's something that makes me crazy! I really can't stand white people who act like they're black. It's not that I have a problem with black people ACTUALLY, it's because I have respect for black people. I have respect for their cultural independence. I look at these middle-class white kids trying to act like gangsters and I laugh knowing that those kids have no idea what living in a ghetto is like. If you go back in history, it's sad but true, white people have stolen a lot of extremely unique and innovative music genres that black people have worked hard at cultivating. We take a musical movement that they have pioneered with real emotion and then slap our name on it and take away artistic credit: jazz, blues, rock and' roll, and now rap! Holy cow people! Come one! Now we're stealing their slang and style? What happened to coming up with your own material? You want to be an individual? Then act like yourself and not someone else! Please, respect the African-American culture and stop making yourself look like an idiot!

I Could Be A Hermit

There are days where I just don't want to be bothered with normal life. I just want to get me a little shack in the woods with a ton of books and everyone else can LEAVE ME ALONE! People, work, traffic, I would love to just leave it all behind. The bills can go unpaid, the fires I usually put out can keep burning, the people who think they need my attention 24/7 can take care of themselves, I want ME time. Maybe it's selfish but at this point I just don't care.

I HATE My Nose Right Now!

I usually don't get allergies but for some reason they've now hit me hard! Last night I hated my nose! I couldn't breathe out of my nose so I had to breathe through my mouth which sucks because then I woke up with a sore throat. I've never had allergies this bad before and it's horrible! Hopefully I'll be able to sleep better tonight. If I don't get some better sleep I'm not going to make it tomorrow.

Asinine

The word for the week is: Asinine

Asinine: utterly ridiculous or lacking sense.

This is my life right now. If you've wondered why I haven't been returning your calls or text messages, this word sums it up. Any activity besides reading and writing seems totally pointless and asinine! Certain people I have to deal with are asinine, certain situations in my life are asinine, certainly the traffic and stupid drivers around this area are asinine! It's starting to get to the point where I just don't even want to leave my apartment. My attitude: let the world deal with all their petty, idiotic, and pointless issues and leave me out of it! I feel like the world has gotten too caught up in the things that don't matter. We're too concerned with money, dictating to others on how they should live their life, politics (IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR! NOTHING EVER CHANGES!), and TV. Oh don't even get me started on TV, probably one of the most asinine things out there. If you're not watching something that helps you learn or expands your knowledge than you should turn it off and pay attention to your family! I have major issues with people who choose TV over loved ones. I remember I called one of my friends in high school to see if she wanted to go grab something to eat and hang out. Her response, "But E.R. is on tonight." WHO CARES!?! It's a dumb show, what if I died tomorrow? I know that sounds a bit dramatic but it could happen. What then? Instead of being petty, back stabbing, gossiping, rude, and tuning the world out for a box why don't we start to care for each other a little more? Don't have someone to care for at that moment? Than do something constructive. Help a neighbor, read a book, clean your dwelling space, create something beautiful, call a friend, play with your kids: the possibilities are endless. And don't spend your time worrying about those asinine things, all it's going to do is drag you down. If it doesn't matter, don't worry about it and get back to the things that truly matter. This life is too short to focus on all the negatives when there are so many wonderful things out there.

Now That I Know, First-Hand, What That "Manic Monday" Song Is All About...

My horrible Monday morning started at 1:13am. I go to the bathroom, flush the toilet, thought I heard an extra popping noise but ignored it and went back to writing. I realize that the water to fill up the tank is still going. It's been plenty long enough to fill up the tank, what's going on? I walk into the bathroom to see the tank of my toilet leaking! I take off the top and the wonderful little device that's supposed to float on top of the water and tell the tank to stop filling up has broken off. Lovely! I flush the toilet again and try to turn off the water valve to the toilet except for it's so covered in lime and calcium deposits that it's not turning at all! I hold down the little thing to get the water to stop and try to figure out what to do. I call my landlord at about 1:30am after several attempts to find something heavy enough to hold down the other side of the lever and failing. He comes over and can't turn off the stupid water valve either. He rushes to get tools and we finally get that situation under control. He's supposed to be replacing my toilet today, hopefully it gets done or my manic Monday isn't over yet.

Then this morning I get up and start making my bed. I totally forgot that there's a phone jack against the wall and slammed my foot into it. For a minute I seriously thought I might have broken a toe. Then I trip on my overly wide pajama pant leg and almost fall right on my face. Oh, wait I'm not done... Then I get to work and as I'm trying to slide out of my car my stupid car door comes slamming down on my arm! What the heck? So I've decided that if I'm going to survive this crazy day I'll need to be wrapped in bubble wrap. Does anybody want to help me out with that?

Misrepresentation

The word for the week is: Misrepresentation. Misrepresentation: to give an inaccurate or deliberately false account of the nature of somebody or something.

So, as many of you know my out-look on men right now is crap. It seems like everywhere I turn all the men I find are liars. What's up with that? I've had enough misrepresentation shoved down my throat to make anyone sick! Are there any honest guys out there? I'm starting to doubt it. Here, let me list a few examples:


Liar #1: We go out for a few months. He's one of the sweetest, kindest guys I've ever met. We decide to get married, we say the "I dos", and suddenly he's not the same person anymore. He suddenly has enough anger for several people, instead of spending time with me like he used to he's glued to the computer, I find out that he's addicted to porn, he never takes me out anymore, suddenly he's insanely jealous, he tells me he thinks his co-workers are trying to poison him, and I'm trying to figure out what is going on with this guy. Come to find out that the man is a paranoid schizophrenic. Something he hid from me very well while we were dating. That relationship ended but not fast enough.


Liar #2: We decide to make the arrangement of "friends with benefits." (I'm not proud of it now but it happened.) We agreed that there should be no emotion coming into play with this relationship. Next thing I know he throws out the dreaded "L" word (love) and turns everything upside down. I get suckered into it and think we're on our way to a committed relationship. Then what happens only 2 weeks later? "I don't think I'm in love with you after all." Then why did you tell me you loved me if you didn't? Now, his chances are all dried up with me and he's regretting it.


Liar #3: We meet and start hanging out. He hits on me heavily! I'm fresh out of high school, young, dumb, not seeing the signs. I start getting really excited that someone is interested in me and start texting him and talking to him on the phone to get to know him better. The flirting continues. We go out and he drops the bomb that he's actually married and would still be interested in going out. When I left he was wearing my drink. I realized, I never saw a ring. He's taking it off when he goes out so he can pick up on other girls! What a dog!

See why I'm loosing faith? I think it's pretty obvious!

I Need to Write MORE!

This girl has some big dreams and one of them is to become a famous author. I know, I know, it's a BIG dream. One that a lot of people have and never achieve but I don't see another choice for my career so try I must.

Here's the problem: I sit all day at work so coming home and sitting down doesn't work out that great. I want to move! I find myself writing a sentence and pacing, writing a sentence and pacing, writing a sentence and pacing, etc. Plus, a lot of the time my dad is there watching TV, wanting me to cook dinner, wanting to take me out to dinner, wanting to take me to a movie, etc. See all the little distractions?

Write at work you ask? Well that could work except for here's how that scenario always plays out: I'm in the middle of a great thought, the phone rings, I answer it and deal with the call, go back to my writing, the great idea is gone, and I'm pissed. Yeah, yet another problem! This dream is never going to come to pass if I can't find a way around all these distractions.

So, I guess I'm just going to have to fight my way through the distractions and make time. I've got to get more writing done and fast. I'm sick of waiting for this dream to manifest. I WANT IT NOW!

You Give Women a Bad Name

I have been told by several guys I've dated that I am not like most girls and for that I'm extremely grateful. 1. Because it earns me a lot more affection from the guys I date. 2. Because I can't stand the typical girl myself. I try to play nice and get along but no matter how big my smile is I'm typically gritting my teeth and getting annoyed with the hair re-doing, the make-up checking, and the back stabbing. And pink! Oh how I hate pink! Then there's the super-girl and I don't even try to be in the same area as them because it just doesn't work. This is the damsel in distress. (Insert rolling eyes here.) The girl who cries over EVERYTHING! Most of all, she's the worst manipulator in the world! These girls say things like, "I want to find me a rich man to support me." or "I'm too pretty to work." or "Real women are high maintenance." (I'm not even going to try to figure out what kind of man would actually be attracted to one of these high-maintenance "Princesses") AHHH! I get a head ache even thinking about them! Though you may be thinking that I'm now going to advise them to knock off the head games, immaturity, and over-all ditziness, I'm not. Actually, keep it up. You're making my dating horizons a lot wider once the guy realizes that he doesn't have to deal with all the garbage you girly-girls are constantly throwing at them. Just stay away from me. I have a low BS tolerance these days. You've been warned!