A Cautionary Tale

Lately I've been wondering what to do with my life in regards to romantic relationships. I seem to be at a crossroads and I don't really know where to go. Today my grandmother called me by accident and told me of the latest news involving my family. I realized that, as always, I need to be watching the people around me and learn from their mistakes. Case in point:

There was a young woman who had big ambitions of being a police officer. She was engaged to a young man and he supported her in her ambitions. They agreed that she would pursue her dream and when the time was right they would have a modest family of 3-4 kids. They got married in the temple, sealed for time and eternity. This was something she took very serious and sought to uphold the vows she made. After the honeymoon she got a rude awakening. Her husband informed her that she would not be going into the police academy. Instead she would be a stay at home mom and they were to have 10 children! If she wouldn't go along with this he would divorce her. Because she took the temple marriage so seriously she stayed, and did his bidding.

Several years and 7 kids later it was obvious that all parties involved, except for the domineering husband, were unhappy. I have never in my life seen such a bunch of weird, sad, backwards kids. They were poor and a bit of social out casts. It was not a good time for the family. The father got the bright idea to move them to Oregon. Why? We couldn't tell. He didn't have a job for him up there but that's where he wanted to go so of course, the family must follow. The next thing we knew the wife and kids were back in Utah and the divorce was on.

Now the mother had no job skills, no education, and 7 kids to support. Though her ex-husband was ordered to pay child support, it never came regularly. The family struggled more than ever. Finally, she got a job and though they were still poor they were at least a bit stable. Kids started growing up and moving out or helping with expenses and things were gradually getting better. The next thing we knew she was on to marriage number two. He was friendly, kind, the kids loved him and we all had a good feeling about it. They got married and moved to another part of the state the very next week. We regularly got reports of how happy the new family was and were glad that they had found some peace.

Fast forward to this morning. My grandma informs me that her and her 3 younger kids are homeless and she is arranging for them to come live with her. WHAT? "Where is her husband?" I had to know and the only response I was given is, "He's gone." Of course, I want to know what happened there but no one seems to have any answers. So again, she is homeless, with no job, no hope of finding a job (especially in this economy) and kids to support.

Lesson to be learned: Get an education before you start looking for love. You never know what the future holds and having a way to support yourself is ALWAYS a good idea! Question as to what to do is solved: leave the boys alone and get your nose in those books!

Knock That OFF!

The other day I went to Ruby River, love Ruby River. Anyway, I went to the bathroom and some dumb lady is on her cell phone in the public restroom! WTF!!! That is rude and disgusting! I wanted to hit her. Worst part was the first thing she said after she said hi and heard the response is, "You need to show me more respect." What a joke! I wanted to walk up to her, turn off her phone, and tell her what an idiot she was. Sadly she left the bathroom before I did. People, it is AWFUL cell phone etiquette to be on your phone in a public restroom, or any restroom for that matter. DON'T DO IT!

My Heart Has A Wish...

Lately I can't help but think how much I wish I had a different family. This may sound cruel but it's the truth and I can't hide from it anymore. I want a happy, functional family and though people will try to have you believe that those are rare I don't believe it. If this life is what we make it then it is my goal to create a happy, functional family for myself.

I want my children to feel like their home is their sanctuary instead of being afraid of their parents temper. I want my children to feel that their parents love them and support them and are not waiting for them to fail so they can say "I told you so." I will never treat my children like they are stupid, or tell them that they are stupid, or tell them that something is beyond their reach. I will always encourage my children's' hopes and dreams. I will teach them the importance of morality and will expect them to make the right choices. After all: "Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I will make sure that I conduct myself in a manner that they will be able to respect and look up to. I will never make them feel like they have to be the parent for me.

I will give them the appropriate guild lines and discipline. This society we live in is an absolute joke when it comes to raising children. We put the children in front of the TV and expect it to raise them and that they will turn out ok? Are you kidding me? We are afraid to discipline our children because now our children have the power and can claim they have been abused without any proof and it will work, and they know it. I hope and pray everyday that my children will have the understanding that I have strict rules and enforce those rules with proper consequences not because I'm "mean" but because I love them and want what is best for them. I walk through the grocery stores and see what kids are getting away with these days and it makes me crazy! I'm writing this for 2 reasons: 1. to remind myself of my goals and 2. so that people will read this and maybe get a clue!

I am so impressed with some of my friends that already have children for the way they are raising their children. I see proper discipline and loads of love which is what every child needs. I think that if we can remember that children are special spirits that the Lord has entrusted to our care that would make a world of difference. Just something to ponder.

Get Real People!

Last week my mother bought a Wii Fit and I was really excited to try it. Then I heard people say that it tells almost everyone that they're obese and that it heckles you and makes you feel bad about yourself so I was really nervous about it. However, I did what I usually do and tried it out to see for myself. All I have to say is...."HOLY CRAP PEOPLE, GET REAL!" It doesn't heckle you it tells you where you need improvement. I'm no skinny mini and it told me that I was only a bit overweight, which is the truth. So my guess is, if it told you that you're obese that's because you are and if you can't handle that you shouldn't have bought the thing looking to get help in the first place. I believe that your health can be handled like an addiction. The first step in recovering from an addiction is admitting you have a problem. If you can't be real about the problems your having with your weight than you're never going to improve. If you're ready to get real about your body and really work on it, I actually suggest the Wii Fit. So far I LOVE it even though there are certain things that I suck at. Get real about making a change, I think this could really help people along, it's like having your own personal trainer in your living room. Yeah, it may call me a "couch potato" but it's true and I'm ready to change that. If you're not progressing, you're digressing. There is no such thing is stagnancy in our lives!

The Chronicles Of Narnia

So I finally finished The Chronicles of Narnia last night and I absolutely loved it! I highly suggest this book especially for those of you who are religious. I'm sure it won't take you long to figure out it's parallels to The Bible and certain religious figures. If you're not religious they're still fantastic stories that are a lot of fun and full of adventure. My ex-husband said that one of his best memories was his mother reading these books to him when he was a child, and I think I'm going to have to follow in her footsteps. Don't be put off by the fact that the books were intended for children, they are well worth your time.

The View--Total Waste of Time!

So yesterday, for some odd reason that I still just don't understand, I watched The View. They had a guest speaker who had done a documentary about how the media mistreated Sarah Palin and her family. Interesting topic that I would have liked to have heard some different perspectives on... unfortunately I was watching The View so I didn't get to hear any of those perspectives. What was supposed to be a debate on a interesting political issue turned into a screaming match. Should have seen that coming.

Now, my understanding of The View is that it's supposed to be a show with a variety of intelligent woman with different view points discussing different issues. It's a good idea but the fact of the matter is, it's just not working. It would work if any of these women had an ounce of manners but they don't. Instead all they do is interrupt each other and yell at each other. Hello? What happened to manners? Growing up I heard all the time, "Brittany, don't interrupt when other people are talking." Didn't these ladies hear the same thing growing up? I can't believe people worry about my generation. If you ask me the older generation is a lot worse off from what I'm seeing on the television.

But really, the problem's root is in the public. If they were courteous and respectful the sad thing is, their ratings would drop. The American public doesn't want intelligent debate, they want bickering. They feel it's more entertaining and that's just the way it is. People, instead of getting kicks out of watching other people behaving badly why don't we seriously address these issues. Maybe if we did we would actually be making this nation better which is what it badly needs. Entertainment is despicable. If we want to make the world better boycott popular media. That would at least be a step in the right direction.

Please Stop That...

So, I had to address this here because it's something that makes me crazy! I really can't stand white people who act like they're black. It's not that I have a problem with black people ACTUALLY, it's because I have respect for black people. I have respect for their cultural independence. I look at these middle-class white kids trying to act like gangsters and I laugh knowing that those kids have no idea what living in a ghetto is like. If you go back in history, it's sad but true, white people have stolen a lot of extremely unique and innovative music genres that black people have worked hard at cultivating. We take a musical movement that they have pioneered with real emotion and then slap our name on it and take away artistic credit: jazz, blues, rock and' roll, and now rap! Holy cow people! Come one! Now we're stealing their slang and style? What happened to coming up with your own material? You want to be an individual? Then act like yourself and not someone else! Please, respect the African-American culture and stop making yourself look like an idiot!

MY Independence Day

Some of you read that title and went, "What? Independence Day is the 4th of July." Well, that's a great holiday and all, one of my favorites actually, but MY independence day is October 1st. Two years ago today I left my husband and started a new, more independent life. It was very hard and very scary but when I think about this event one thing always comes to mind, "Why on earth didn't I leave him sooner?" A lot of people are in relationships that just aren't working but stay in them for the same reason I did: fear. It is scary to break off such a big commitment and take that unsure step into an unknown future but I'm telling you from personal experience, it's worth it. Each and every one of us deserves happiness, reach out and grab it! Take those unknown and scary steps towards it, let NOTHING stand in your way! So, here's to me and my wise choice that I made 2 years ago today! Here's to the happy future that I'm now moving towards! And here's to all the people who are brave enough to break their comfort zones in the pursuit of a happier and more fulfilling life!

Asinine

The word for the week is: Asinine

Asinine: utterly ridiculous or lacking sense.

This is my life right now. If you've wondered why I haven't been returning your calls or text messages, this word sums it up. Any activity besides reading and writing seems totally pointless and asinine! Certain people I have to deal with are asinine, certain situations in my life are asinine, certainly the traffic and stupid drivers around this area are asinine! It's starting to get to the point where I just don't even want to leave my apartment. My attitude: let the world deal with all their petty, idiotic, and pointless issues and leave me out of it! I feel like the world has gotten too caught up in the things that don't matter. We're too concerned with money, dictating to others on how they should live their life, politics (IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR! NOTHING EVER CHANGES!), and TV. Oh don't even get me started on TV, probably one of the most asinine things out there. If you're not watching something that helps you learn or expands your knowledge than you should turn it off and pay attention to your family! I have major issues with people who choose TV over loved ones. I remember I called one of my friends in high school to see if she wanted to go grab something to eat and hang out. Her response, "But E.R. is on tonight." WHO CARES!?! It's a dumb show, what if I died tomorrow? I know that sounds a bit dramatic but it could happen. What then? Instead of being petty, back stabbing, gossiping, rude, and tuning the world out for a box why don't we start to care for each other a little more? Don't have someone to care for at that moment? Than do something constructive. Help a neighbor, read a book, clean your dwelling space, create something beautiful, call a friend, play with your kids: the possibilities are endless. And don't spend your time worrying about those asinine things, all it's going to do is drag you down. If it doesn't matter, don't worry about it and get back to the things that truly matter. This life is too short to focus on all the negatives when there are so many wonderful things out there.

It's Not That Complicated

I hear a lot of guys piss and moan about how complicated women are with what they want in a man. It's really not that complicated at all. Do a little nice thing to help out here and there, tell her you love her, hold her in your arms once in a while without expecting some hot steamy action (what's funny is if you do this sometimes she ends up wanting hot steamy action), surprise her with something once in a while (heck, flowers are like $10 at Wal-Mart), listen instead of waiting for her to finish talking and then shove solutions on her, and listen to this song and take it to heart:

"Stand Beside Me"

He left me cryin' late one Sunday night outside of Boulder

He said he had to find himself out on the road

I guess when love goes wrong you've gotta learn to be strong

So I worked two jobs and I moved three times

I ended up south of Memphis workin' down in Riverside

I may not be so lucky in love but the one thing I'm sure of

I want a man that stands beside me

Not in front of or behind me

Give me two arms that want to hold me not own me

And I'll give all the love in my heart

Stand beside me

Be true don't tell lies to me

I'm not lookin' for a fantasy

I want a man that who stands beside me

I didn't expect to see him one hot July morning

His hair was longer but his eyes were the same old blue

He said, I've missed you for so long. Oh baby, what can I do

I said,

I want a man that stands beside me

Not in front of or behind me

Give me two arms that want to hold me not own me

And I'll give all the love in my heart

It's hard to tell him no when I want him so bad

But I've got to be true to my heart

This time

I'm not lookin' for a fantasy

I want a man who stands beside me

I want a man who stands beside me

Stand beside me

Stand beside me

Also take a listen to Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman by Bryan Adams. Take that one to heart and you'll have her eating out of the palm of your hand!

Visualization Board

If you haven't read The Secret you really need to. It's a very powerful book. I've been trying to apply the principles found there to my life. Hey, if it makes your life better it's worth a try right? My favorite concept so far is gratitude. You wake up in the morning and you immediately start thinking about everything you're grateful for. This really sets the tone for a wonderful day, trust me I know. The next thing that really caught my attention was the visualization board. Right after I read that section I went straight to the store and bought me a cork board. Now it's up on the wall with pictures of things I want. This is how it works: You put pictures up on it of things you want, pick one picture and look at it for a good long time, then visualize yourself having that item or going on that vacation or looking that way. You have to see it as if it's yours, you have to feel the feelings as if you already have it. Say, I pick the picture of my future car. I'll look at it and then close my eyes and imagine myself opening the door of that car and getting in it in great detail. I imagine the feel of the metal handle on my hand, the way the seat gives as I sit on it, I actually see my fingers wrapping around the steering wheel. As I visualize this I let that good feeling of knowing "this is my car" wash over me. When you do this, when you visualize, you're making that desire a reality. You continue this routine and wait for it to materialize. It will, it's the law of the universe. Give it a try and read The Secret. You'll see what I mean!

Tattoo(s): Should I or Shouldn't I?

I have had certain individuals ask me for advice when it comes to getting tattoos since I have 4 of them and worked at a tattoo parlor for a brief period of time (Thank God it was brief, I wish it had never happened). Here is my advice, some of you may agree and some of you may disagree but these are the basic rules I go by:

* Don't get the name of your current "squeeze" tattooed on you. The only way I would get a tattoo of the name of the person I loved is if they died during the course of our relationship. Sounds harsh, but if this person died when you were seriously in love with them that love will never die, it makes sense.

*Never get a tattoo on a place that will stretch. Those really trendy tattoos girls get on their lower abdomen are the stupidest things ever! Once they get pregnant they're going to look like crap. The tattoo that was once a sparrow is now unidentifiable.

*Get something that has deep personal meaning to you. If you get a pair of flaming dice just because you think they look cool you're going to regret them later.

*If you have ANY doubts don't do it.(A rule I've broken and paid for)

*If you have an idea for a tattoo think on it for at least 3 months. That may sound like a long time but it's worth it. NEVER GET A TATTOO ON A WHIM!(Another rule broken on the same tattoo)

*A tattoo on your lower back is called "a tramp stamp" if you don't want the stigma, don't get the tattoo.

*See the tattoo completely drawn up and colored on paper before you get it tattooed. Make sure the tattoo artist is clear that they are not allowed to deviate from that piece of flash. If you give a tattoo artist artistic liberty while they're tattooing you you may end up with a tattoo you don't like. (This is yet another rule I broke on the same tattoo and I seriously HATE my tattoo.)

*Make sure you get the tattoo in a place where you are comfortable with it's visibility. All of mine are in places where I can hide them if I want and where I can show them if I want. Don't get a tattoo on your wrist if you don't want everyone to see it all the time. On the other hand, why would you get a super cool tattoo on your butt where no on will ever see it except for you and your significant other?

*A little common sense goes a long way, just like everything else in this life.

I hope that helps!