My Heart Has A Wish...

Lately I can't help but think how much I wish I had a different family. This may sound cruel but it's the truth and I can't hide from it anymore. I want a happy, functional family and though people will try to have you believe that those are rare I don't believe it. If this life is what we make it then it is my goal to create a happy, functional family for myself.

I want my children to feel like their home is their sanctuary instead of being afraid of their parents temper. I want my children to feel that their parents love them and support them and are not waiting for them to fail so they can say "I told you so." I will never treat my children like they are stupid, or tell them that they are stupid, or tell them that something is beyond their reach. I will always encourage my children's' hopes and dreams. I will teach them the importance of morality and will expect them to make the right choices. After all: "Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I will make sure that I conduct myself in a manner that they will be able to respect and look up to. I will never make them feel like they have to be the parent for me.

I will give them the appropriate guild lines and discipline. This society we live in is an absolute joke when it comes to raising children. We put the children in front of the TV and expect it to raise them and that they will turn out ok? Are you kidding me? We are afraid to discipline our children because now our children have the power and can claim they have been abused without any proof and it will work, and they know it. I hope and pray everyday that my children will have the understanding that I have strict rules and enforce those rules with proper consequences not because I'm "mean" but because I love them and want what is best for them. I walk through the grocery stores and see what kids are getting away with these days and it makes me crazy! I'm writing this for 2 reasons: 1. to remind myself of my goals and 2. so that people will read this and maybe get a clue!

I am so impressed with some of my friends that already have children for the way they are raising their children. I see proper discipline and loads of love which is what every child needs. I think that if we can remember that children are special spirits that the Lord has entrusted to our care that would make a world of difference. Just something to ponder.

How Does This Work?

The other day I was watching one of my favorite shows: American Justice. The episode was entitled: The Monster Inside (or Within, I can't remember.) Now usually when I watch these shows about a serial killer (espcially if they are a sex offender to boot) I have absolutely NO compassion for the offender... until this one. His name was Rex Allen Krebs. He had attempted to rape 2 women, raped 3 women, and killed 2 women. Usually when I see these types of offenses I feel sick and would love to see the offender taken off the face of this planet because I feel these people don't belong. Then they started to talk about his mans' childhood, his prior incarceration, and what happened while he was in prison and my attitude about him started to change.

He was severely abused as a child by both his father and his step-father. His mother sent him away and abandoned him, writing him off as a trouble-maker and something she didn't want to deal with. They talked a bit about the abuse, but I would prefer not to go into it, it's too horrible. I truly believe that the abuse he suffered as a child made him become the monster that he grew up to be.

After being convicted for rape he was sentenced to 20 years in prison. During his time in prison he pretty much begged for psychological help. They actually had official prison documents that stated this. He stated that he wanted to know why he did the things he did and that he didn't want to be the way he was. His pleas for help fell on deaf ears. He never received any sort of help for his psychological disorder but was released 10 years early due to good behavior. It was a mistake that would prove to be fatal for two young women.

Just a year after his release he attacked Rachel Newhouse. He ties her up, rapes her, and she is strangled to death while trying to escape from her bonds while Krebs is away. A year later he becomes fascinated with a young woman named Aundria Crawford. He stalks her for a few days, breaks into her house, and abducts her. He takes her back to his house and rapes her several times over the period of one day. After taking a nap on his couch he is awakened by the sounds of the girl trying to escape, in his rage he strangles her to death.

So, how much should his prior child abuse be weighed in the judgement against him? I used to say all the time, "There are plenty of people who are abused and don't go around killing people. It's NO excuse." However, this mans' case has me questioning that. How could someone go through so much abuse and not be affected? He showed remorse for his crimes and a desire to change but never had the means for getting help. This one really has me thinking. I genuinely feel sorry for this man. He plead guilty to both murders and was sentenced to death.

If you would like to know a little more about this man just click on the link:
http://maamodt.asp.radford.edu/Psyc%20405/serial%20killers/Krebs,%20Rex%20Allen%20-%202005.pdf

The View--Total Waste of Time!

So yesterday, for some odd reason that I still just don't understand, I watched The View. They had a guest speaker who had done a documentary about how the media mistreated Sarah Palin and her family. Interesting topic that I would have liked to have heard some different perspectives on... unfortunately I was watching The View so I didn't get to hear any of those perspectives. What was supposed to be a debate on a interesting political issue turned into a screaming match. Should have seen that coming.

Now, my understanding of The View is that it's supposed to be a show with a variety of intelligent woman with different view points discussing different issues. It's a good idea but the fact of the matter is, it's just not working. It would work if any of these women had an ounce of manners but they don't. Instead all they do is interrupt each other and yell at each other. Hello? What happened to manners? Growing up I heard all the time, "Brittany, don't interrupt when other people are talking." Didn't these ladies hear the same thing growing up? I can't believe people worry about my generation. If you ask me the older generation is a lot worse off from what I'm seeing on the television.

But really, the problem's root is in the public. If they were courteous and respectful the sad thing is, their ratings would drop. The American public doesn't want intelligent debate, they want bickering. They feel it's more entertaining and that's just the way it is. People, instead of getting kicks out of watching other people behaving badly why don't we seriously address these issues. Maybe if we did we would actually be making this nation better which is what it badly needs. Entertainment is despicable. If we want to make the world better boycott popular media. That would at least be a step in the right direction.

Wasted a Day

I'm usually the first person to speak out against wasting your life in front of the television. Well, based on my actions a couple of days ago I am now the big hypocrite. On Friday I seriously spent the whole day watching Cold Case Files. I just love the show and learning how the solve crimes. It's fascinating. The process of elimination, the new technology, piecing together clues, I LOVE it! Maybe some day I'll pursue a career in a field where I'll be the one to help solve some of these crimes. I hear that putting sleaze balls behind bars is very rewarding.

Asinine

The word for the week is: Asinine

Asinine: utterly ridiculous or lacking sense.

This is my life right now. If you've wondered why I haven't been returning your calls or text messages, this word sums it up. Any activity besides reading and writing seems totally pointless and asinine! Certain people I have to deal with are asinine, certain situations in my life are asinine, certainly the traffic and stupid drivers around this area are asinine! It's starting to get to the point where I just don't even want to leave my apartment. My attitude: let the world deal with all their petty, idiotic, and pointless issues and leave me out of it! I feel like the world has gotten too caught up in the things that don't matter. We're too concerned with money, dictating to others on how they should live their life, politics (IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR! NOTHING EVER CHANGES!), and TV. Oh don't even get me started on TV, probably one of the most asinine things out there. If you're not watching something that helps you learn or expands your knowledge than you should turn it off and pay attention to your family! I have major issues with people who choose TV over loved ones. I remember I called one of my friends in high school to see if she wanted to go grab something to eat and hang out. Her response, "But E.R. is on tonight." WHO CARES!?! It's a dumb show, what if I died tomorrow? I know that sounds a bit dramatic but it could happen. What then? Instead of being petty, back stabbing, gossiping, rude, and tuning the world out for a box why don't we start to care for each other a little more? Don't have someone to care for at that moment? Than do something constructive. Help a neighbor, read a book, clean your dwelling space, create something beautiful, call a friend, play with your kids: the possibilities are endless. And don't spend your time worrying about those asinine things, all it's going to do is drag you down. If it doesn't matter, don't worry about it and get back to the things that truly matter. This life is too short to focus on all the negatives when there are so many wonderful things out there.

Who Is Chloe?

Above is a picture of a courtyard but do you see something a bit out of place? Below is a clip from Unsolved Mysteries (one of my favorite shows) about The Myrtles Plantation in Louisiana. Welcome to the world of the haunted, it's something that truly fascinates me. The problem with it is... how much of it is real and how much of it is simply not true? In the picture above between the two houses standing next to a pillar you will notice a dark figure but not dark enough, you can see the siding of the building through the figure of, what appears to be, a woman. This is supposed to be Chloe who's story is told in the below clip. There's a few problems with this story, there is no historical record to support that Chloe ever existed. Did slave owners keep documentation of which slaves did what jobs and where? I wouldn't know. So perhaps her servitude wasn't documented that doesn't mean she didn't exist right? But now there's the big problem, in the story it is said that Chloe poisoned the judge's wife Sara and their two daughters Cornellia and Mary. As a result of this poisoning all three died. According to historical records Sara and Cornellia died of yellow fever and Mary lived well into adulthood. Obviously, that puts a big dampener on the legend of Chloe. So who is this black woman who has been spotted and even photographed around the grounds? Was Chloe real and her story was simply exaggerated? It's something we as humans love to do: make a story more sensational than it needs be. Is there another explanation for this mysterious ghost of a black woman? A story that hasn't been brought out into the light of day? Or is she merely a wandering spirit who decided that she liked the look of the place and decided to stay? Who knows?

Nuttin' But Stringz

Last night I was at my mother's when she shushed me in the middle of our conversation to watch something on TV, this is a common occurrence that annoys me to no end. I'm not a big fan of TV, I think it's a waste for the most part, and I hate it when people choose TV over people. However, what she shushed me to watch was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. She was watching America's Got Talent and she wanted to watch one of the hopefuls perform. They're a couple of brothers who call themselves "Nuttin' But Stringz." Check it out!

One of the Best Performances Ever!

I don't watch a lot of TV but I love the show "So You Think You Can Dance." This year I haven't been able to watch it because it's the same night as FHE and since I'm on the committee I feel like I have to be there. Luckily for me, this week FHE was canceled so I got to finally watch an episode of my favorite show and what a perfect night to watch! I love the song "Bleeding Love" and relate so well to it, needless to say, I feel what the song is about. When the music started I thought to myself, "If they screw this up I'm going to be so pissed." However, it was perfect. I love dance because, if it's done right, you can convey so much emotion without ever saying a word. Being a former dancer myself I know the power of a good performer, someone who really makes you feel what they're dancing. I was blown away by this very talented young woman, she really made you feel what the song was trying to get across. This, unfortunately, doesn't happen as often as it should on "So You Think You Can Dance." Enough said, I'll let the footage do the talking! Enjoy!