Now What?

I love my friends and would do anything for them but lately hearing about all the relationship drama has really taken it's toll on me.

When I got divorced I was so afraid to get involved in a relationship again. However, I took the dive because I wanted to be with Steven for so long. I wasn't about to let the opportunity pass me by. Even still, I was always waiting for things to go badly. I was always waiting for everything to blow up in my face like it always did. Constantly worrying about things going wrong is no way to build a relationship. I sometimes wonder if that's part of the reason why the beginning of our relationship was so rocky. We were both feeling apprehensive and it caused a lot of tension.

We've come a long way and just when I was starting to feel comfortable in our relationship all of this drama, with people I know and love, hit. Some of them thought everything was fine and then everything changed out of the blue: secrets, lies, betrayal, abuse. What's next? Even worse, who's next?

My religion teaches that faith and fear cannot co-exist. They mean in a person's soul but the same principle applies to a relationship. You've got to have faith that you can overcome any obstacle that you may have to face together, there is no room for fear. If you are constantly afraid that something is going to go wrong then you are stunning the growth of your own relationship. So now I've got to dismantle the wall my heart has already begun to build out of fear. Steven and I have a little saying and it goes like this, "I love you forever and ever and then some, come what may." I really need to start taking that to heart and have a little more faith that things will always work out for the best one way or another.