Reading is a passion of mine and the thing that gets me every time I pick up a new book is how much truth I find about myself in the books I read, often the ones that I would not want to face on my own.
Many are obsessed with the Twilight series and I am no exception. The way these novels paralleled my life at the time I read them was nothing short of surprising. A young woman who does not feel she is anything special(me), a mysterious boy who won't talk much about himself, is extremely intense, and very alluring in his own way(Steven), and a fun- loving friend that makes the days short and fun who is starting to pull on the heart strings(Nathan). Reading about Bella's dilemma of being torn between these two young men like I was caught between similar young men, was weird but refreshing. I read these books and couldn't help finding myself feeling as if I were deeply involved with every individual character.
A few years ago I read one of my favorite books of all time: The Queen of the Damned. The Queen arises from her slumber to rid the world of the ultimate evil: men. The Queen tells her fellow vampire and new love, Lestat, that men are the cause of rape, war, and violence and that the only way the world could become a better place is for men to be destroyed. I held the same view at the time, which is not surprising considering the things that were happening in my life. I didn't want to be that person, even though I had justifiable reasons to be leery of men, I knew it was not healthy to want to rid the world of them. Though it was a great book that I enjoyed it scared me that reading a simple popular novel made me deal with one of my own personality flaws against my will.
In the Mercedes Thompson series I related very well with the main character. She's a spunky, independent, strong woman, which is something I like to believe I am as well. When she is raped in Iron Kissed she feels alone and defenseless, like she has lost part of her identity. I cried and cried as I read this book and relived my date rape that I have tried to suppress and forget for so many years. I understood how she felt, as though the fact that she couldn't stop it made her feel like less of the person she once was. Though I had a hard time facing my own past through this book, reading it and going through the healing process as Mercy helped me to face and come to terms with one of my darkest memories.
In Lasher we got acquainted with a character that I loved right away. A mischievous little red haired witch named Mona. Mona was independent, bold, intelligent, and not afraid of anything! Characteristics I thought I would like to possess. Then I realized that though she was fun and wild she was a little too wild, she was a downright slut. Something I certainly didn't want to be but I was starting to slip in that direction. Time for a big revaluation! Though Mona was a character that I endeared to my heart I left it at that. She was certainly not the kind of person I would want to be. Lesson learned: don't get too caught up in what you're reading.
Just now I was reading Practical Magic and a line from the book hit me like a ton of bricks(unfortunately this sort of thing happens more often than I would like it too). The line reads as follows: "Now, Ben Frye is here and in love with her and she can't even kiss him or wrap her arms around him, because she's poison and she knows it, which is just her luck." Now, I've never even met a "Ben Frye" but there are several names of nice young men that I've dated that I could insert into that sentence and it would have been about me. When I first started dating my current boyfriend I was wild and thought for sure I was going to drag him down, I just didn't have the discipline to leave him alone. Thank God I didn't, if I had kept away I would have missed out on this love that I did not believe was possible. A love that has changed me and tamed me into something that is a little more worthy of him.
So even though I have found truth in these novels about myself, I'm glad I have not let these realizations define me. I'm glad that I remembered that I am not merely a character in a book but that I am a complex human being and that I have the power, within myself, to change.
Many are obsessed with the Twilight series and I am no exception. The way these novels paralleled my life at the time I read them was nothing short of surprising. A young woman who does not feel she is anything special(me), a mysterious boy who won't talk much about himself, is extremely intense, and very alluring in his own way(Steven), and a fun- loving friend that makes the days short and fun who is starting to pull on the heart strings(Nathan). Reading about Bella's dilemma of being torn between these two young men like I was caught between similar young men, was weird but refreshing. I read these books and couldn't help finding myself feeling as if I were deeply involved with every individual character.
A few years ago I read one of my favorite books of all time: The Queen of the Damned. The Queen arises from her slumber to rid the world of the ultimate evil: men. The Queen tells her fellow vampire and new love, Lestat, that men are the cause of rape, war, and violence and that the only way the world could become a better place is for men to be destroyed. I held the same view at the time, which is not surprising considering the things that were happening in my life. I didn't want to be that person, even though I had justifiable reasons to be leery of men, I knew it was not healthy to want to rid the world of them. Though it was a great book that I enjoyed it scared me that reading a simple popular novel made me deal with one of my own personality flaws against my will.
In the Mercedes Thompson series I related very well with the main character. She's a spunky, independent, strong woman, which is something I like to believe I am as well. When she is raped in Iron Kissed she feels alone and defenseless, like she has lost part of her identity. I cried and cried as I read this book and relived my date rape that I have tried to suppress and forget for so many years. I understood how she felt, as though the fact that she couldn't stop it made her feel like less of the person she once was. Though I had a hard time facing my own past through this book, reading it and going through the healing process as Mercy helped me to face and come to terms with one of my darkest memories.In Lasher we got acquainted with a character that I loved right away. A mischievous little red haired witch named Mona. Mona was independent, bold, intelligent, and not afraid of anything! Characteristics I thought I would like to possess. Then I realized that though she was fun and wild she was a little too wild, she was a downright slut. Something I certainly didn't want to be but I was starting to slip in that direction. Time for a big revaluation! Though Mona was a character that I endeared to my heart I left it at that. She was certainly not the kind of person I would want to be. Lesson learned: don't get too caught up in what you're reading.
Just now I was reading Practical Magic and a line from the book hit me like a ton of bricks(unfortunately this sort of thing happens more often than I would like it too). The line reads as follows: "Now, Ben Frye is here and in love with her and she can't even kiss him or wrap her arms around him, because she's poison and she knows it, which is just her luck." Now, I've never even met a "Ben Frye" but there are several names of nice young men that I've dated that I could insert into that sentence and it would have been about me. When I first started dating my current boyfriend I was wild and thought for sure I was going to drag him down, I just didn't have the discipline to leave him alone. Thank God I didn't, if I had kept away I would have missed out on this love that I did not believe was possible. A love that has changed me and tamed me into something that is a little more worthy of him.
So even though I have found truth in these novels about myself, I'm glad I have not let these realizations define me. I'm glad that I remembered that I am not merely a character in a book but that I am a complex human being and that I have the power, within myself, to change.
1 comments:
That was very good. You always did know how to write well though. I am glad that I am able to help you and be there for you. I love you Angel Eyes.
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