Ramblings of a Mysterious Heart

Some People...

2011-06-21T10:02:00.002-06:00

So, yesterday I went to visit my friend at her work. Later in the afternoon some guy came in who looked Indian, not Native American Indian but from India Indian. The man spent a good 15 minutes going on and on about how people say that white women are so beautiful but they're not. He's saying this to two very white women. To say that it was a bit offensive is an understatement. We kind of blew it off and he moved on to talking about how skanky the girls in Utah are, he was a real charmer this one. After I had heard about as much as I could tolerate I decided it was time to leave. I said good bye to Scheli and was about to head out the door when the jerk asked me out! I chewed him a new one and left.

When I got home I posted a facebook status about it and one of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time posted, "If it's not white it's not right." I found that comment to be offensive and knew that I wasn't the only one who would considering that I have friends on my facebook who are not white, so I deleted it. The next day I logged in to find that the same person reposted the same comment! This time I sent them a message explaining how that was inappropriate and then I deleted them from my facebook.

I really wish that people weren't so hateful over stupid little things. If you're going to hate a certain group target one that actually deserves it like child molesters or woman beaters. But the truth of the matter is we could all use a little less hate in our lives and a lot more love and understanding.

Painting

2011-06-20T09:10:00.005-06:00

So, I didn't realize I had a hidden talent but I do. I've picked up painting lately and I love it. It's been very therapeutic for me.

Been So Long...

2011-06-13T14:53:00.002-06:00

So, school has been occupying my time and taking me away from my blog but now that I'm not going... I'm back baby! Still trying to peg down a good job. I'm working at Stogies for now but I'm looking for something else. I'm living a life of secrets and seclusion right now and I'm enjoying it immensely! There will be more to come so keep watching...

Feels So Good!!!

2010-08-30T13:42:00.002-06:00

I'm losing weight and it feels so good! The best thing is... I'm not done yet! I've started taking some steps to lose some serious weight. It was time for a lifestyle change anyway! All and all things are going well. I'm actually starting to feel good about my life and the direction that it's going in.

Birds?

2010-08-05T23:57:00.003-06:00

So, I've always thought birds were freaky. However, my roomy loves them so now we have 4. I wasn't sure how I was going to like it but one of them has really grown on me. His/Her name is Sidney. (It's not old enough to be able to tell if it is male or female) Sidney hangs out on my shoulder all day. I love it. I have a new friend to hang with at home. :)

Too Long

2010-08-05T23:44:00.004-06:00

It's been far too long since I've written in here. So many things have changed! Where to begin?

Still single, that's a good place to start. Still single, want to stay that way. I have other things I need to focus on for a while.

I moved! I moved in with my friend Amy and things are going great! We've put a lot of work into this house and it was so worth it.

I changed my major to photography and I'm really excited to get started.

Going on vacation in October. VEGAS BABY!!!

Yep, life has challenges as always but all in all life is good.

Life

2010-05-26T10:15:00.004-06:00

Life is so crazy lately. There's so much to do and so much I want to do and bills piling in and nothing ever gets any easier. It sucks. I feel bad that I've neglected my blog but that's the way it goes. So... what's new with me? I'm living in American Fork and am going to move soon but I'll still be in American Fork. I've been writing a lot lately which is always good. School has been bad, really bad and I'm trying to decide if I should keep going or not. It's a tough one. All in all life is crazy and hard but good at the same time.

Music Moment

2010-01-09T10:07:00.002-07:00

Lately I've been exploring some new music and just broadening my musical horizons. It's been really good and I thought I should share some of my findings:

A Cautionary Tale

2009-11-17T10:41:00.004-07:00

Lately I've been wondering what to do with my life in regards to romantic relationships. I seem to be at a crossroads and I don't really know where to go. Today my grandmother called me by accident and told me of the latest news involving my family. I realized that, as always, I need to be watching the people around me and learn from their mistakes. Case in point:

There was a young woman who had big ambitions of being a police officer. She was engaged to a young man and he supported her in her ambitions. They agreed that she would pursue her dream and when the time was right they would have a modest family of 3-4 kids. They got married in the temple, sealed for time and eternity. This was something she took very serious and sought to uphold the vows she made. After the honeymoon she got a rude awakening. Her husband informed her that she would not be going into the police academy. Instead she would be a stay at home mom and they were to have 10 children! If she wouldn't go along with this he would divorce her. Because she took the temple marriage so seriously she stayed, and did his bidding.

Several years and 7 kids later it was obvious that all parties involved, except for the domineering husband, were unhappy. I have never in my life seen such a bunch of weird, sad, backwards kids. They were poor and a bit of social out casts. It was not a good time for the family. The father got the bright idea to move them to Oregon. Why? We couldn't tell. He didn't have a job for him up there but that's where he wanted to go so of course, the family must follow. The next thing we knew the wife and kids were back in Utah and the divorce was on.

Now the mother had no job skills, no education, and 7 kids to support. Though her ex-husband was ordered to pay child support, it never came regularly. The family struggled more than ever. Finally, she got a job and though they were still poor they were at least a bit stable. Kids started growing up and moving out or helping with expenses and things were gradually getting better. The next thing we knew she was on to marriage number two. He was friendly, kind, the kids loved him and we all had a good feeling about it. They got married and moved to another part of the state the very next week. We regularly got reports of how happy the new family was and were glad that they had found some peace.

Fast forward to this morning. My grandma informs me that her and her 3 younger kids are homeless and she is arranging for them to come live with her. WHAT? "Where is her husband?" I had to know and the only response I was given is, "He's gone." Of course, I want to know what happened there but no one seems to have any answers. So again, she is homeless, with no job, no hope of finding a job (especially in this economy) and kids to support.

Lesson to be learned: Get an education before you start looking for love. You never know what the future holds and having a way to support yourself is ALWAYS a good idea! Question as to what to do is solved: leave the boys alone and get your nose in those books!

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

2009-11-03T19:11:00.001-07:00

One of the funnest movies I've seen in a while. Laughed and had a good time with it, I highly suggest it. Had Michael Douglas in it which just made me like it that much more!

Where The Wild Things Are

2009-11-03T19:09:00.002-07:00

You know how at the beginning of every movie they have the images to show which companies made the movie? Well, the sad thing is that was the best part of the movie. It looked like a kid had drawn over them and it was totally cute and then... all down hill from there.

Oh Ye Hypocrite!

2009-11-03T19:02:00.003-07:00

So, I try not to be hypocritical but... in this case I am. I really hate cute dark haired girls who bleach their hair blond! Us dark haired girls need all the cute ones we can get! (Lord knows I'm not adding to the cuteness) But what about cute blond girls who go dark? How do I feel about them? I LOVE THEM! Case in point, the lovely Dita Von Teese:
ENJOY!

Best Concert EVER!

2009-09-28T09:35:00.003-06:00

Last night I went and saw Bryan Adams at Kingsbury Hall. Totally acoustic show, just him, his guitar and someone handy on the piano. It was heaven. He has such an amazing voice and I give him a lot of credit for doing an acoustic show. It demonstrates true talent. It was hands down the best concert I've ever been to and I wouldn't trade the experience. So, ha ha, I'm the lucky one! (Though I have to admit, some of the love songs made me tear up a bit but sh! don't tell anyone!)

9

2009-09-22T18:19:00.002-06:00

I really liked this movie, it was very Burton which makes it alright by me. I highly suggest it.

R.I.P Patrick Swayze

2009-09-14T21:16:00.004-06:00

I have to blog about this because Patrick Swayze was one of my favorite actors. I grew up watching Dirty Dancing and Ghost. I'm not ashamed to admit that I had a huge crush on him growing up. As I got older and learned things about his upbringing, the way he lived his life, his values... I developed great respect for him. I'm sad that he is gone and my prayers go out to his family, especially his wife. We lost an amazing actor today.

Knock That OFF!

2009-09-14T16:29:00.003-06:00

The other day I went to Ruby River, love Ruby River. Anyway, I went to the bathroom and some dumb lady is on her cell phone in the public restroom! WTF!!! That is rude and disgusting! I wanted to hit her. Worst part was the first thing she said after she said hi and heard the response is, "You need to show me more respect." What a joke! I wanted to walk up to her, turn off her phone, and tell her what an idiot she was. Sadly she left the bathroom before I did. People, it is AWFUL cell phone etiquette to be on your phone in a public restroom, or any restroom for that matter. DON'T DO IT!

The Time Traveler's Wife

2009-09-10T09:39:00.002-06:00

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, THIS MOVIE! So good, go see it. That's all I have to say.

Mercy Thompson Homecoming

2009-09-10T09:33:00.003-06:00

This was my first ever graphic novel and it will most likely be my last. As much as I LOVE Mercy Thompson I'm not so much a fan of the "graphic novel." I think it was the "graphic novel" part that I had the issue with. I'm not a graphic novel person I guess. (Probably a good thing, don't want to become too nerdy.)

All is Lost

2009-08-30T01:55:00.002-06:00

Today I spent some time thinking about my Grandpa Davis. I thought back to the day of his funeral and how utterly empty I felt. As I looked at his coffin I knew there and then that I would never have that loving adoration ever again. It broke my heart then and it breaks my heart now. I try really hard to be appreciative of what I have when I have it. How did I end up taking him and the love he gave to me for granted? The man was far from perfect, and in all honesty, he was kind of a jerk to everyone else but he really loved me and I loved him despite all his faults. I know that the rest of my family thinks I had a bad case of "rose colored glasses" when it comes to him but I didn't. I knew all his dirty little secrets but I didn't care. I loved him unconditionally. I seem to have a talent for that, maybe too much. I miss my grandpa, I still cry when I think about him, and I sincerely hope that someday, somehow I can have that sort of love back, though I doubt it.

Obsessed

2009-08-25T18:15:00.002-06:00

So, this movie was ok. It was some pretty good acting but the story line was a bit over-the-top. The girl fight was pretty good until the end of it, then it just got to be too dramatic. I don't feel like I wasted my time in seeing it but I probably wouldn't see it again.

The World of Men

2009-08-12T10:33:00.002-06:00

By and by time passes on
Hence the reason for my sorrowful song.
Light diminishes, darkness prevails
Away sails the ship with the golden sails.
The pure things are fleeing, the children are crying.
The hope of this world is slowly dying.
The men have marched through and taken what they want
Leaving what is left behind to rot.
The parasites rage on, the flower wilts.
The balance continues its downward tilt.
The green and good things perish, the angels have fled.
The beasts’ insatiable appetite can never be fed.
The wounds are too deep to ever mend,
Behold the terrible world of men.

-Brittany Davis

The Way It's Got To Be.

2009-08-03T11:31:00.000-06:00

So... this weekend was a real eye-opener. I've decided that I've had ENOUGH of the same guys I've allowed to jerk me around since high school. For real, I really haven't moved on from the same dating pool I've been in since high school but that's about to change. I want a guy with some real hopes, dreams, and ambitions. I look around my dating pool and there's not a whole lot of options there. Of course, if you want something in your partner you have to become it first so that is the first item on my agenda. Second item: stop being such a damn door mat! I WILL NOT be treated like a play thing for a man's personal enjoyment anymore! I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!

So, if you are one of the guys in my world right now I have some new rules for you:
1. Time with you will be limited. I will not hang out for a second longer than I want to. I don't care if you give me a guilt trip, when I'm ready to go home I'm going home.
2. There will be NO MORE PHYSICAL CONTACT! Until you can get to the point where you know me and respect me as an intelligent human being YOU DO NOT DESERVE ANY OF MY HUGS, KISSES, ETC!
3. If you call or text me and I don't respond, deal with it. 99% of you have been treating me this way so it's about time I gave you some of your own medicine.
4. I OWE YOU NOTHING! I have gone around thinking that if you've bought me dinner or taken me out to a movie then I owe you some of my time and attention even when you treat me like dirt. It's done.

This is the start of something wonderful for me, I can feel it. I've come to the point where I know eventually I can find a guy that goes from:
a. being genuinely interested in me to...
b. having a great deal of respect for me to...
c. really liking me to...
d. loving me without fear.
No more of this skittishness when it comes to commitment. I am a woman worth loving and keeping, I know that now and it's time I find a guy who can comprehend that too.

Watchmen

2009-08-02T10:47:00.002-06:00

So... I was really, really excited for this movie and now I can't figure out why. It was terrible. One of the most boring movies I've ever seen. They had this sex scene and it was shot really well and then it had the most retarded song playing during it that didn't fit at all. I was totally disappointed. Don't waste your time, it's not worth a second of it.

Front Desk with Lexi

2009-07-28T22:00:00.003-06:00

So this week I've been working the front desk with Lexi and it has been so much fun! Especially since we're both so sleep deprived and we're really silly when we're sleep deprived. We spend most of the day just laughing like a couple of idiots! I wouldn't trade it for nothing. I love it when you look forward to going to work.

The Oquirrh Mountain Temple

2009-07-25T11:41:00.005-06:00

This week I went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house with Melissa and Steven. It was such a beautiful temple. We walked through like you always do, enjoying the beauty and then we headed off to a sealing room. As we sat in the sealing room listening to the couple talk about the importance of temple marriage I started to tear up. I looked around at this beautiful room and I was hit with the sudden realization of: "this is where I'm going to get married." I've always had my heart set on the Salt Lake Temple but as I sat there I knew that this temple was the one I was meant to get married in. It was a beautiful temple and I highly suggest that if you haven't gone to the open house yet you should before time runs out!

My Heart Has A Wish...

2009-07-21T17:34:00.004-06:00

Lately I can't help but think how much I wish I had a different family. This may sound cruel but it's the truth and I can't hide from it anymore. I want a happy, functional family and though people will try to have you believe that those are rare I don't believe it. If this life is what we make it then it is my goal to create a happy, functional family for myself.

I want my children to feel like their home is their sanctuary instead of being afraid of their parents temper. I want my children to feel that their parents love them and support them and are not waiting for them to fail so they can say "I told you so." I will never treat my children like they are stupid, or tell them that they are stupid, or tell them that something is beyond their reach. I will always encourage my children's' hopes and dreams. I will teach them the importance of morality and will expect them to make the right choices. After all: "Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I will make sure that I conduct myself in a manner that they will be able to respect and look up to. I will never make them feel like they have to be the parent for me.

I will give them the appropriate guild lines and discipline. This society we live in is an absolute joke when it comes to raising children. We put the children in front of the TV and expect it to raise them and that they will turn out ok? Are you kidding me? We are afraid to discipline our children because now our children have the power and can claim they have been abused without any proof and it will work, and they know it. I hope and pray everyday that my children will have the understanding that I have strict rules and enforce those rules with proper consequences not because I'm "mean" but because I love them and want what is best for them. I walk through the grocery stores and see what kids are getting away with these days and it makes me crazy! I'm writing this for 2 reasons: 1. to remind myself of my goals and 2. so that people will read this and maybe get a clue!

I am so impressed with some of my friends that already have children for the way they are raising their children. I see proper discipline and loads of love which is what every child needs. I think that if we can remember that children are special spirits that the Lord has entrusted to our care that would make a world of difference. Just something to ponder.

It Won't Go Away!

2009-07-21T09:20:00.002-06:00

I've had this song stuck in my head for a few days now. It's all I can think about!

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

2009-07-21T09:12:00.003-06:00

As was expected, I loved this movie! However I love Harry Potter. I have to say, I've always been a fan of Helena Bonham Carter but in this movie she really out-did herself! She was just amazing! I highly suggest this movie.

Transformers 2

2009-07-07T09:58:00.003-06:00

I wasn't looking forward to this movie like everyone else was and I was right not to. It was too long, it was really boring, it was the same thing over and over again. I totally lost interest in it well before it was over. Plus *SPOILER AHEAD READ WITH CAUTION* it had one of the stupidest cliche scenes that are popular in movies these days. Sam dies, the emergency crews try to bring him back, it doesn't work, and they give up. Then the little girlfriend from the first movie whispers in his ear that he has to come back because she loves him and magically....he comes back. How stupid is that? I hate those sort of the scenes, totally cheesy and fake. I really didn't like the movie. The first one was amazing, this one was not worth the time.

Gran Torino

2009-07-07T09:57:00.003-06:00

I absolutely loved this movie. I think it's the best new movie I've seen so far this year. I highly suggest it. Clint Eastwood proved once again that he is one of the better actors out there.

The Death of The King of Pop

2009-06-26T21:40:00.002-06:00

I had to say my piece. I have to admit that Michael Jackson is easily hands-down the top entertainer of our time. However, I'm really sick of people saying that he was better than Elvis. Elvis was on a totally different level they are not comparable, I'm not saying Michael Jackson is worse I'm just saying you can't compare them. I've been watching all of these specials about Michael Jackson and I have to say I've never been a huge fan of the music but MAN THAT GUY HAD SOME AWESOME MOVES! Just as a tribute I had to include the music video for my favorite MJ song. RIP Michael Jackson you need some peace because you certainly didn't find it in this life.

Genuine

2009-06-23T09:22:00.003-06:00

The word for the week is: genuine

Genuine: Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character.

I chose this word because I'm finding that a lot of the people that I thought were good honest people are filthy liars. How can you go about living with so many skeletons in your closet? I'm just really loosing faith in people. I'm so frustrated that I can't even find the words. Here's the deal: a true adult is up-front about who they are, where they're from, and where they're going. True adults don't run off to get married, start families, etc... without telling their family. It's amazing to me how many people are in there 50's and still aren't "true adults!" Grow Up!

Computer Stress

2009-06-16T12:23:00.003-06:00

So between my DGM class, the computer system at work screwing up on a daily basis, and trying to figure out how to set up a web page, online marketing, and profiles for my dad.... I really need a break from computers. This is getting to be too much!

Night at the Museum 2

2009-06-16T12:15:00.002-06:00

It was good but not as good as the first. It's worth seeing though. I loved the part where they made fun of Darf Vador. It was great!

Finding the Angel Within

2009-06-11T19:07:00.002-06:00

I think that EVERY woman should read this book. It really helped me to feel better about myself and what woman couldn't use that? It is a must read for all women, I can't stress that enough!

The Fellowship of the Ring

2009-06-11T18:59:00.003-06:00

It was a great book. I'm really happy I read it. It was a little lengthy but I enjoyed it. It's a very inspirng story.

Healing the Wounded Soul

2009-05-26T19:04:00.003-06:00

Steven's mom let me borrow this book and I'm really glad she did. It had a good message and it was very uplifting. I highly suggest it.

I Feel Like a Jerk...

2009-05-25T14:35:00.002-06:00

Last night I got angry with my homework that I couldn't figure out and I punched a hole in my mom's wall. I feel like a jerk.

DOMINATION! (It feels so good!)

2009-05-22T10:55:00.003-06:00

I was really nervous to start my math class this semester and expected to fall flat on my face. Well... not only am I doing well I'm dominating! I've totally got this and it has helped my self-esteem in ways I never imagined. It's a good thing too because I've got a lot of math ahead of me including an accounting class. So far, I'm feeling good about it though. Steven was right, I've got this.

The Fruits of DGM 1110

2009-05-19T11:33:00.003-06:00

So, I don't feel like I'm doing so great in this class but... our first assignment was kind of fun. I had to make a collage that was supposed to be "about me." So this is what I came up with. It's kind of dumb and cheesy but it works. I'm curious to see if any of you know who is in the bubble with me.

I'm Digging the Curls

2009-05-18T11:22:00.003-06:00

I'm kind of digging the curls. What do ya'll think?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-05-18T11:09:00.003-06:00

I loved this movie. It was very long and I could see how some people would find it to be boring but I highly enjoyed it. There was some amazing acting in it and the concept was fascinating.

The Book of Mormon

2009-05-14T10:07:00.004-06:00

I finished The Book of Mormon today. It took me a little longer than I had hoped but I finally got through it. It was an amazing experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. I feel like I have benefited so much from having read it and it has helped strengthen my testimony just like I knew it would. I actually had a much deeper spiritual experience with my studying The Book of Mormon but I feel like it would lessen it somehow if I typed it on the web for everyone to read. I get the feeling that it's meant to be more private.

What to do?

2009-05-11T10:04:00.005-06:00

So I'm in a tough spot... no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And the logical thing to do seems to be to move into an apartment with roommates. The problem is I'm pretty sure I was born with a warning sign that clearly stated: DOES NOT PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS! So, what's a lone wolf to do? You see, the only way I can live with someone is if I love them enough to tolerate them. (This probably comes from the fact that most of the people I've loved and lived with have also been a giant pain in the neck!) I don't love people easily enough for this to happen often. So, what to do?

Understanding Isaiah

2009-05-05T09:21:00.003-06:00

Before I started reading Isaiah I knew two things about this particular book in the Bible: 1. It was hard to understand; and 2. It was important to understand. I wanted to get it but I didn't just want to go it alone and I hope I could grasp it. I had heard that there were books out there to help you understand Isaiah so I went out in search of one. The problem was most of the books I found just dumbed Isaiah down. I didn't want that, I wanted something that explained it in detail. That's when I found this book. I loved it, it really helped me to fully understand what I was reading and it had bits and pieces from other scriptures and modern-day prophets to help. I highly suggest this book.

Taken

2009-05-04T10:59:00.003-06:00

I LOVED this movie. It was suspenseful, there was a lot going on, it had a good story line, and you got to see bad guys being brought to justice the hard way and I've always liked that. This movie was good because it really made you feel for the characters. When you find yourself starting to become emotionally attatched then you know they've made an excellent movie. I highly suggest it.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.

2009-04-28T07:53:00.003-06:00

Steven and I watched Underworld Rise of the Lycans on sunday and it was excellent! Of course, it helps that I'm a HUGE fan of all things dark and magical such as vampires and werewolves. It was a great story. I was really impressed with the actor who plays Lucien. He does such a good job. Oh, and the sex scene between Sonja and Lucien...SO HOT...I think I need alone-time now...

The Yin to My Yang?

2009-04-27T21:24:00.002-06:00

Today I worked with a girl that was back in the lab last week so we didn't get to talk much. We totally clicked and it was awesome since that doesn't happen to me very often. It was actually weird... I usually don't go for the peppy, cutsie, super out-going, girly-girl but it's working. Maybe she's the yin to my yang...

First Day

2009-04-20T18:20:00.002-06:00

First day at a new job. I did a lot of paper work but it was good.

The Spirit

2009-04-20T08:57:00.002-06:00

I was kind of excited for this movie but it was disappointing. It was one of those movies that you kept waiting for it to get interesting and it never did.

Beautitul Song

2009-04-17T10:56:00.001-06:00

I'm really loving this song right now. I wanted to post the live version because it's amazing how well Carrie Underwood performs live and I like seeing Randy Travis sitting next to her, he's a legend in his own right.

How Does This Work?

2009-04-16T13:27:00.004-06:00

The other day I was watching one of my favorite shows: American Justice. The episode was entitled: The Monster Inside (or Within, I can't remember.) Now usually when I watch these shows about a serial killer (espcially if they are a sex offender to boot) I have absolutely NO compassion for the offender... until this one. His name was Rex Allen Krebs. He had attempted to rape 2 women, raped 3 women, and killed 2 women. Usually when I see these types of offenses I feel sick and would love to see the offender taken off the face of this planet because I feel these people don't belong. Then they started to talk about his mans' childhood, his prior incarceration, and what happened while he was in prison and my attitude about him started to change.

He was severely abused as a child by both his father and his step-father. His mother sent him away and abandoned him, writing him off as a trouble-maker and something she didn't want to deal with. They talked a bit about the abuse, but I would prefer not to go into it, it's too horrible. I truly believe that the abuse he suffered as a child made him become the monster that he grew up to be.

After being convicted for rape he was sentenced to 20 years in prison. During his time in prison he pretty much begged for psychological help. They actually had official prison documents that stated this. He stated that he wanted to know why he did the things he did and that he didn't want to be the way he was. His pleas for help fell on deaf ears. He never received any sort of help for his psychological disorder but was released 10 years early due to good behavior. It was a mistake that would prove to be fatal for two young women.

Just a year after his release he attacked Rachel Newhouse. He ties her up, rapes her, and she is strangled to death while trying to escape from her bonds while Krebs is away. A year later he becomes fascinated with a young woman named Aundria Crawford. He stalks her for a few days, breaks into her house, and abducts her. He takes her back to his house and rapes her several times over the period of one day. After taking a nap on his couch he is awakened by the sounds of the girl trying to escape, in his rage he strangles her to death.

So, how much should his prior child abuse be weighed in the judgement against him? I used to say all the time, "There are plenty of people who are abused and don't go around killing people. It's NO excuse." However, this mans' case has me questioning that. How could someone go through so much abuse and not be affected? He showed remorse for his crimes and a desire to change but never had the means for getting help. This one really has me thinking. I genuinely feel sorry for this man. He plead guilty to both murders and was sentenced to death.

If you would like to know a little more about this man just click on the link:
http://maamodt.asp.radford.edu/Psyc%20405/serial%20killers/Krebs,%20Rex%20Allen%20-%202005.pdf

Yes Man

2009-04-12T01:40:00.003-06:00

I absolutely LOVED this movie. I think it has such a wonderful message and it is totally hilarious. I highly suggest it!

Quirks

2009-04-10T10:48:00.011-06:00

The word of the week is: Quirk

Quirk: 1. a peculiarity of character; mannerism or foible
2. an unexpected twist or turn: a strange quirk of fate [origin unknown]
quirky adj

I chose this word because I indulged in one of my favorite quirks yesterday! I went to the Alpine Cemetery and just wandered around, took some pictures, and enjoyed myself. Got some great pictures that I was just loving. Check it out...

This is the cemetery when I first got there.

So I'm walking along and I see this chair and I'm thinking, "What on earth? Why here?" Then I sat down in the chair and this is what I saw...

Then I noticed this weird headstone that was a kind of blue color...

Check out what was on the top of it...

I loved this that I found. It was a poem for a woman, it was so sweet...

And then I had friends join me...

I still don't know what those birds were. They were huge but I got a pretty close-up look at them and I know they weren't hawks or eagles. I thought they looked like vultures but we don't have vultures around here so I'm not sure.

Hanging around cemeteries is strange, I know. However, that's just me! I'm a quirky girl and that's just the way it is!

Cool Things are Often Discovered During the Midst of Boredom

2009-04-05T12:50:00.004-06:00

I was really bored one day and just messing around on my computer and discovered something fun on my Kodak program. I went into the editing portion and saw a tab that said "fun effects." Now, most of them I didn't like except for this one, check it out...

I Usually Try to Stay Away From Pop but...

2009-04-01T10:02:00.001-06:00

I absolutely LOVE this song. It awakens something in me and I have no idea what it is.

I FINALLY Got a Job!

2009-04-01T09:50:00.002-06:00

I'll be starting at the testing center at UVU on April 13th! I'm so excited! It's about time I got a job!

The Hobbit

2009-03-31T09:41:00.003-06:00

This is my second time reading this book. I really like it. I suggest it to people who enjoy fantasy novels and an epic adventure. J.R.R Tolkien was brilliant, there's no doubt about it.

Get Real People!

2009-03-31T09:26:00.003-06:00

Last week my mother bought a Wii Fit and I was really excited to try it. Then I heard people say that it tells almost everyone that they're obese and that it heckles you and makes you feel bad about yourself so I was really nervous about it. However, I did what I usually do and tried it out to see for myself. All I have to say is...."HOLY CRAP PEOPLE, GET REAL!" It doesn't heckle you it tells you where you need improvement. I'm no skinny mini and it told me that I was only a bit overweight, which is the truth. So my guess is, if it told you that you're obese that's because you are and if you can't handle that you shouldn't have bought the thing looking to get help in the first place. I believe that your health can be handled like an addiction. The first step in recovering from an addiction is admitting you have a problem. If you can't be real about the problems your having with your weight than you're never going to improve. If you're ready to get real about your body and really work on it, I actually suggest the Wii Fit. So far I LOVE it even though there are certain things that I suck at. Get real about making a change, I think this could really help people along, it's like having your own personal trainer in your living room. Yeah, it may call me a "couch potato" but it's true and I'm ready to change that. If you're not progressing, you're digressing. There is no such thing is stagnancy in our lives!

Escape to Witch Mountain

2009-03-23T10:44:00.002-06:00

Steven took me to see this last week. It was pretty good. I thought it was cute and there was some really good acting in it. I suggest you go see it.

First Ever Video Blog!

2009-03-19T22:00:00.004-06:00

I've never done this before, sorry it's lame. I'm better at writing than I am on camera. I don't know if I'll ever try this again.

Inkheart

2009-03-19T21:05:00.002-06:00

I think the idea was brilliant but it wasn't as good as I hoped it would be. I think I'm going to have to read the book sometime to get the full effect. I think it's one of those movies that everyone should see at least once. Like I said, the concept was genius, pure genius. I can't wait to read the book.

Music IS My Life...

2009-03-17T15:10:00.002-06:00

I have yet another song addiction! This song is probably the most beautiful thing I've heard in a really long time. This is one of those songs that I hear and think: I wish someone felt that way about me. That would truly be flattering. Thank you Heather and KJ for introducing me to this one!

It's All Coming Together!

2009-03-17T12:02:00.004-06:00

My life is coming together so beautifully right now and I'm so happy! I'm using my unemployment to my advantage to get help with schooling. The problem is I have to do a two year work ready degree. My teaching dream went out the window and I was really sad. Then I went to talk to my academic advisor again and she noticed that when I was going to school earlier I was in the pre-secondary education program. She informed me that the degree I'm going for transfers into the Business/Marketing Secondary Education degree nicely so even though, for the time being, I just have to go for my associates degree later I'll be able to work on the bachelor's and be able to teach just like I always wanted! I was so happy when I heard the news that I almost started crying tears of joy but of course I didn't. Crying in front of people you don't know is humiliating so I contained myself. Then I got called in for an interview on campus, they wanted to hire me but since I'm not registered for classes yet they can't. I don't mind being passed on this one because the pay wasn't too great and it was part time. BUT I'm glad that my resume is looking good enough to get called for jobs and I was told that there will be more on- campus jobs opening up in a couple of weeks when I will be registered for classes so I have high hopes. I would really like to get a job on campus because it would make my life a lot easier. Sure, I can think of things that would make my life even better but for now I'm just going to be grateful for the blessings I've received!

Doomed Queens

2009-03-10T16:23:00.004-06:00

The fact that I really liked this book is just another testament to how dark and twisted I can be. The book is a compilation of the most unfortunate stories of doomed queens through the ages. The author has not only compiled the stories but she has added her very own illustrations of some of the unlucky souls featured in her book. Plus, she also added her wicked sense of humor to each of the tales. I absolutely loved it! I highly suggest it if you have a bit of a dark sense of humor like I do. Also, pay attention to the the story of Brunhilde. There's a lot to be learned from her tragic end.

White Horse

2009-03-08T16:13:00.001-06:00

My latest song addiction. It makes me cry because it applies just a little too much. Here's for all the broken hearted girls out there who have realized their fairytale will never come true...

Paul Blart Mall Cop

2009-03-07T13:42:00.004-07:00

I went to see Paul Blart Mall Cop with my family last night. It was pretty good but not the funniest movie I've ever seen. It did have some funny moments though. It's worth watching at least once but I don't think I would buy this movie, it just wasn't that good.

Bone Crossed

2009-03-07T13:39:00.004-07:00

This book just cemented my love for this series. It was so good! I absolutely love Mercy, she's my kind of gal. The kind of gal I would like to be like. This story was really good, there was so much going on and then it all came together at the end and I loved it. I highly suggest it.

Iron Kissed

2009-03-05T20:33:00.002-07:00

I finally get to move on to the new book! Every new book the adventures become more complex, this lady really has a knack for writing series.

Blood Bound

2009-03-02T12:54:00.005-07:00

I've only got one more book to go and then I can move on to the new one! I really liked this book, again. I don't know why but I love the love triangle in this one and in this book a new player was kind of thrown in. That spiced things up again. I highly suggest this series. There's just no way around it, they're a lot of fun!

Something To Make Me Smile

2009-03-02T12:42:00.004-07:00

On Sunday we were getting ready for choir practice when I realized that our pianist wasn't there. Big problem. They sent in a lady from the stake to help us out and she told us that we didn't have enough people in our ward who was able to play piano and she would give anyone who was interested FREE LESSONS! Oh yeah, I totally jumped all over that. It will be so nice to be playing again and who knows? Maybe I'll be playing for our ward soon.

Now, the issue is... I need something to practice on. Pray that my mother is merciful and let's me borrow her keyboard. I really hope everything works out. Music is a big part of who I am and I have to admit there's been a bit of a hole in my soul since I haven't been able to play the piano like I used to. I really feel like this is a step in the right direction. Maybe playing the piano again will pull me out of my depression that I've been in lately. One can only hope!

My Birthday.

2009-02-23T18:18:00.002-07:00

Well, there was good food, lots of family, fun, making money, and a few good friends. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed that so many of my friends bailed out. I try to understand that things happen, people get sick, and things like that, I only ask for people to come celebrate once a year with me, other than that I don't really ask for anything. I felt like I got a lot of lame excuses, a few lies, and I some people who said they were going to be there and then just flat out blew me off without any explanation. It hurt a little bit because some of them I have worked really hard to be there for and I don't demand a lot, I just wanted friends to celebrate my birthday with. I really learned who my true friends are. However, I was REALLY impressed with Heather. Heather lives clear down in Ephraim and drove all that way. Thanks hun, you really made me feel special.

On the actual day of my birthday we went to Wendover to play a little black jack. I did awesome! It was so much fun! I love it when I get on a winning streak. Of course, Steven made my day special. That's what he's good at so it was no surprise. I was so grateful for everything he did and I've been trying to show him that. I hope that he feels appreciated because he truly is. I gave myself the present of changing my info back to my maiden name and it feels so good. I really feel like myself again. I feel like I've reclaimed the best aspects of my pre-marriage personality. It's nice. Plus, I feel closer to my dad again. I don't understand how a name change can do that but it really does. Overall, it was a happy birthday. I am so grateful to the people who helped made that possible. Thank you all.

Moon Called

2009-02-19T11:26:00.003-07:00

This was my second time reading this book, it's one of my favorites. Moon Called is the first book in the Mercedes Thompson series. I'm reading the whole series again because the fourth book was recently released so I wanted to do a refresher before I read the new one. I highly suggest these books if you are into vampires, werewolves, witches, and all sorts of magical creatures. It has it all to offer. When I was reading it yesterday I had a good laugh at something stupid but it was amusing to me. She called a gas station a "stop and rob," I think I'm going to have to start using that one. These books have it all, action, comedy, and even a love triangle. Pick it up sometime if you're interested.

The Chronicles Of Narnia

2009-02-17T11:16:00.004-07:00

So I finally finished The Chronicles of Narnia last night and I absolutely loved it! I highly suggest this book especially for those of you who are religious. I'm sure it won't take you long to figure out it's parallels to The Bible and certain religious figures. If you're not religious they're still fantastic stories that are a lot of fun and full of adventure. My ex-husband said that one of his best memories was his mother reading these books to him when he was a child, and I think I'm going to have to follow in her footsteps. Don't be put off by the fact that the books were intended for children, they are well worth your time.

Pink Panther 2

2009-02-17T11:05:00.003-07:00

I went and saw The Pink Panther 2 with Steven and his family yesterday. It was a really good movie and I really enjoyed it. However, there was a young man sitting a seat away from me(the seat between us was empty) who was seriously creeping me out. He stared at me for most of the movie and he kept commenting on the movie in my general direction like he was trying to get me to talk to him. This guy was like scary stalker quality here. I couldn't believe he didn't get the clue, I'm holding Steven's hand, stealing kisses from Steven here and there but this guy is still trying to get my attention. At the end of the movie I had to go to the bathroom and Steven decided to wait outside for me. The kid was in the lobby and when I went through he totally stared at me the whole time. And I mean stared! He even turned his whole body to watch me go. I was so creeped out that I kept looking over my shoulder as I went to the car because Steven and I hadn't drove together. I was afraid stalker dude was going to follow me and grab me or something. The movie was good though so go see it, I just hope none of you end up sitting close to a creepy stalker person.

LEAVE MY PAGE ALONE!

2009-02-15T14:53:00.003-07:00

So I noticed that someone posted a link onto one of my blogs for a single's dating website. I'm trying to stop swearing but... that is total and complete bull shit! It's MY blog, I made it, leave MY blog alone. Whoever did it needs to get rid of it because I don't know how. If someone out there does please let me know. All I'm asking for is a little respect. I made this blog and NO ONE ELSE should be adding or taking away from it. I just can't believe how rude some people are these days.

He's Just Not That Into You

2009-02-09T21:38:00.004-07:00

It was so funny. It wasn't as much of a chick flick as I thought it was going to be and EVERYONE in the audience was laughing. I highly suggest it.

Bride Wars

2009-02-09T21:36:00.002-07:00

I went and saw this with my mom about a week ago. It was funny but very much so a chick flick. Good, but chick flick. Ladies, be nice and don't drag your guys to it.

The View--Total Waste of Time!

2009-02-03T14:56:00.003-07:00

So yesterday, for some odd reason that I still just don't understand, I watched The View. They had a guest speaker who had done a documentary about how the media mistreated Sarah Palin and her family. Interesting topic that I would have liked to have heard some different perspectives on... unfortunately I was watching The View so I didn't get to hear any of those perspectives. What was supposed to be a debate on a interesting political issue turned into a screaming match. Should have seen that coming.

Now, my understanding of The View is that it's supposed to be a show with a variety of intelligent woman with different view points discussing different issues. It's a good idea but the fact of the matter is, it's just not working. It would work if any of these women had an ounce of manners but they don't. Instead all they do is interrupt each other and yell at each other. Hello? What happened to manners? Growing up I heard all the time, "Brittany, don't interrupt when other people are talking." Didn't these ladies hear the same thing growing up? I can't believe people worry about my generation. If you ask me the older generation is a lot worse off from what I'm seeing on the television.

But really, the problem's root is in the public. If they were courteous and respectful the sad thing is, their ratings would drop. The American public doesn't want intelligent debate, they want bickering. They feel it's more entertaining and that's just the way it is. People, instead of getting kicks out of watching other people behaving badly why don't we seriously address these issues. Maybe if we did we would actually be making this nation better which is what it badly needs. Entertainment is despicable. If we want to make the world better boycott popular media. That would at least be a step in the right direction.

Time To Get Serious

2009-01-28T09:36:00.003-07:00

So, last week was an interesting week.

Tuesday: I made a reservation so Steven and I could go to the open house for the Draper Temple, I was so excited and couldn't figure out why.
Wednesday: The bishop and the stake president came over for a visit. It was great to be in the presence of two wonderful and spiritual people in my own house.
Thursday: Steven and I went to the open house. I was totally overwhelmed by the spirit that I had to choke back tears, it made a very large impression.
Friday: I started reading Isaiah and the main subject matter was: temples.
Saturday: More Isaiah, more about temples.
Sunday: The topic for church that day was... (drum roll)...temples!

OK, by now I know that someone on the other side is poking me and saying, "Hey you, pay attention." Just when I'm thinking this in church the bishop, who is speaking in sacrament, says, "Some of you may feel like you're a long way off from being able to go to the temple but you're not. If you want to become temple worthy and experience the blessings that come with temple attendance come talk to me and we'll get you on the right track." I swear he looked right at me when he said it and that was it for me. I decided right there and then that I was going to go talk to my bishop and work on becoming temple worthy.

My life has not been the same since. I went and talked to the bishop and he totally believes in me! Which is really nice, I needed that. I've been studying my scriptures, praying regularly, and really searching my heart and working through issues so I can truly repent and find my way to "the straight and narrow." My life has so much more meaning now and the love I have for Steven is deepening and the more I think about it the more I realize that I truly want to be with him forever. Last night we went to the open house again. Being there with him felt so right and was just what I needed to remind me that I'm doing the right thing. The future is looking good and I'm so excited for my new, more meaningful life to begin.

Unemployed

2009-01-15T18:31:00.003-07:00

So I'm unemployed and stressing out. Poor Steven has been having to try to calm down this stress ball all week. (Seriously, send him your sympathy. He deserves it.) If anyone knows of any employment openings that I might be able to apply for please let me know. I'd really appreciate it.

Bedtime Stories

2009-01-15T18:29:00.002-07:00

I loved this movie. It's fun, has a good moral, and is funny. It's a great family film. I highly suggesdt it.

It's good but...

2008-12-31T09:41:00.002-07:00

So, a while ago I started writing a vampire romance novel. It's a good idea but... it's been done before...it's been done a lot actually. I haven't added to it in a while and I realized that I was simply loosing interest. Today, I started to develop a new idea for a story and it's really got me excited. It's fresh, and I've got a lot more material for this story line already. I almost feel guilty for leaving my vampire romance novel on hold for while but... out with the old in with the new!

The Passing Of My Last Great Grandparent

2008-12-23T17:19:00.002-07:00

My Great Grandpa Turner finally passed on December 19 2008. I'm not trying to be rude when I say "finally" but he was suffering and I'm so grateful that he doesn't have to suffer anymore. His funeral was today and it was good to honor him but I ended up very upset. My Great Grandpa was a honorable man that served his country in the Navy during World War 2 but he had no 21 gun salute. I was furious! They just didn't come. My Grandfather deserves that respect and it was respect he didn't get. I am proud of my Grandfather's service and I will always remember the sacrafice he made for my freedom.

Please Stop That...

2008-12-15T15:33:00.003-07:00

So, I had to address this here because it's something that makes me crazy! I really can't stand white people who act like they're black. It's not that I have a problem with black people ACTUALLY, it's because I have respect for black people. I have respect for their cultural independence. I look at these middle-class white kids trying to act like gangsters and I laugh knowing that those kids have no idea what living in a ghetto is like. If you go back in history, it's sad but true, white people have stolen a lot of extremely unique and innovative music genres that black people have worked hard at cultivating. We take a musical movement that they have pioneered with real emotion and then slap our name on it and take away artistic credit: jazz, blues, rock and' roll, and now rap! Holy cow people! Come one! Now we're stealing their slang and style? What happened to coming up with your own material? You want to be an individual? Then act like yourself and not someone else! Please, respect the African-American culture and stop making yourself look like an idiot!

Goal Restablished

2008-12-09T09:40:00.002-07:00

So I'm finally picking up the goal of becoming a writer again. I'm reading more, writing more, and doing all those little things I need to do to get on the right track. Now, to find the time. That's the hardest part. I really need to work on my discipline and start acting like a writer instead of a dabbler.

Just The Friend I Needed.

2008-12-05T10:57:00.003-07:00

I believe that everything in our lives happen for a reason. Events, people, relationships, moves, employment... it's all connected. Today I was reminded of that. I needed some advice so I turned to a friend that I met at work, Janessa. Recently, I came back to the LDS church and because I became inactive when I was so young a lot of the principles, values, expectations, blessings, etc. are unfamiliar to me. Plus, I'm forgetful. Janessa is very strong in her faith and a very spiritual young woman, I think that's part of the reason I seek her advice. I told her my dilemma and her advice? "Fast and pray." What excellent advice! I hadn't even thought of that option! See, I met Janessa at the time I did for a reason and I'm so thankful to have her in my life!

A Year Ago?

2008-12-03T10:42:00.001-07:00

I just realized that it's been a year ago today that I had my galbladder removed. Really? It's been a year already? Where on earth does the time go? I was so scared to have the surgery done but I feel so much better now so obviously it was worth it!

Get Smart

2008-12-03T10:37:00.001-07:00

I watched Get Smart over the Thanksgiving Day Weekend with Steven. It was pretty funny, not the funniest movie I've ever seen but good. I was disappointed by the bad guy, they're too hot to be evil! My favorite part was his nightmare, I seriously laughed so hard that I could barely breathe! I suggest it, it's worth watching.

Misery Business

2008-11-26T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm really addicted to this song right now!

Trying To Remember

2008-11-26T09:56:00.004-07:00

For those of you who know me well you'll know why today is the hardest day of the year for me. Last night I gave myself a pep-talk telling myself that I don't have to suffer anymore because of the atonement but I still feel all alone in this. I know that the atonement is actually an easy concept but I can never seem to wrap my head around it. Besides, why would I want to put something so painful on someone I love? I can't wait for tomorrow to come.

I'm Hurt!

2008-11-25T08:25:00.003-07:00

So, I was putting this picture on my facebook account while I was at work and one of my co-workers looked over my shoulder at what I was doing. "Who's that?" he asks and I tell him it's me. His response, "No, that's not you! Or is that you like 5 years ago?" I took the picture on Sunday! Do I really look that ugly at work? Is it really that hard to believe that I can clean up and look nice? I guess so.

TWILIGHT! FINALLY!

2008-11-24T10:44:00.002-07:00

So I finally saw Twilight and, of course, I just want to go see it again! I loved it! I heard a lot of people complain about the girl who played Bella but I liked her! Edward was so yummy! Mmm.... Edward.... Anyway! I highly suggest it! I only had one complaint... They didn't deliver the star line correctly! The whole, "So the lion fell in love with the lamb" line was all wrong. Other than that though, it's my new favorite movie! Can't give any more detail, don't want to ruin it for those of you that haven't seen it yet!

This Time Tomorrow

2008-11-22T15:57:00.002-07:00

At this time tomorrow I will be getting ticked off at all the previews because I'll be waiting for Twilight to start! I'm pretty excited!

Perseverance

2008-11-21T14:45:00.004-07:00

The word of the week is: Perseverance.

Perseverance: Steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness.

I decided to go with the word perseverance this week because it's something that I've been doing a lot lately, even when I haven't wanted too. One of the things I hate the most is working a job where I feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. I like to be in control and on top of things. With my new job you don't just learn something new once, master it, and keep going... oh no, it's not like that. We rotate areas and each time you rotate it's like starting a new job all over again! I hate starting a new job! I've had the hardest time sticking with this and not just walking out. The thing is.... I need a job so bad! So, I've persevered and so far it's been worth it. When I get discouraged I just think of the wisdom of Dori, "Just keep swimming..."

Eyes On Fire

2008-11-19T14:07:00.005-07:00

So this song title caught my attention when I bought the Twilight soundtrack and the song lives up to it's title. It's my kind of sexy! Check it out!

Counting Down The Days

2008-11-19T14:02:00.003-07:00

Twilight comes out on Friday and I'm going to see it on Sunday! I'm so excited and I'm seriously counting down the days! Only 4 more to go! YAY!

Changeling

2008-11-12T07:58:00.002-07:00

This was such a powerful film. It was amazing to think that it was a true story. Angelina Jolie gave an amazing performance. I'm so used to here being the sexual bad ass but she did such a good job at being a frail, feminine mother! I was really impressed. Some of it is really disturbing so if you're skittish I don't recommend it. Other than that, it's a must-see!

Soul Men

2008-11-12T07:55:00.003-07:00

I really liked this movie. It swore too much but it was really funny. If cussing and sexual humor doesn't bother you then I suggest it. It's sad that it was Bernie Mac's last movie but at least it was a good one.

Adversity

2008-11-08T11:07:00.003-07:00

The word for the week is: Adversity

Adversity: A state of hardship or affliction; misfortune.

I've been having a lot of adversity in my life lately and it's really been wearing me down. I try to be a strong person but there's only so much one person can take and I'm starting to feel like I'm reaching my limit. I sincerely hope that things will start to look up for me soon.

As discouraged as I may feel I always know that no matter how much adversity I have to go through it is for the best. The purpose of this life is to be tested and learn. Sometimes I feel like I've had enough learning experiences for a lifetime but deep down I know that's not true. All of my struggles will be for my benefit in the end. No matter how hard times get someday I will look back on them and be thankful for them and what those moments taught me.

I've always loved the quote: "You can't control what life throws at you but you can handle how you react to it." My life continues to throw a lot at me and I will continue to handle all of my little and big challenges with as much dignity and grace as I can muster. I hope I don't run out of any of the two anytime soon.